Top 'I Don't Work Here Lady' Stories of the Week (July 2, 2023)

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    Product - £4 N CHAIN Top 'I Don't Work Here Lady' Stories 123 bed (UT) 红旗连锁 Hower CHAM
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    Font - Dinosaurs are professional S I was getting takeout at a local pizza shop (where I always get take out and never eat in). As I was waiting for them to bring my order out, I was leaning against a counter. The workers all wear baseball style shirts with the name of the restaurant and shorts. I was wearing a navy dress with bright dinosaurs. A woman came up and asked me where the bathrooms are, and I shrugged and said I thought they were at the back. She freaks out, demanding to know why I do
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    Hair
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    Font - If only I wanted some extra work on the side. XL I'm a tall woman with plenty of curves and very long red hair that I usually wear in a plait that reaches my waist. This is important for the story. It takes place in Sydney, Australia, in the early 1990s. I was at the time working for the NSW Public Service as an average office bunny. My phone number at the time ended up 7850. This is also important.
  • 05
    Font - I was at home one night when the phone rang. It was a bit after 9, and it was odd for someone to ring that late, but I answered. "Hi, are you free tonight?" "I beg your pardon?" "Isn't this Big Red?"
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    Font - "Um ..." (thinking one of my friends is trying to pull a fast one on me) "you could call me that. But ..." "So if there's a free spot tonight, I'd like to book in. How much for your services?" "WHAT??? Hang on - what number did you ring?"
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    Font - "WHAT??? Hang on - what number did you ring?" He gave me the number, which was mine. Odd. "I'm sorry. This is a private residence." "Oh, sorry. Good night."
  • 08
    Font - I was puzzled as O, but had an idea. Grabbing the local paper, I checked in the "Personals" column. Sure enough, there was an ad for a local "massage" parlour, but with my phone number. Then I dug up the paper from the week before. Same ad, but the phone number ended up 7580 instead of 7850.
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    Font - 8, 5 and 0 are in a straight vertical line on a push-button phone. The newspaper (or the person putting in the ad) had mixed the 8 and the 5 up. And the recent ad? Was for a new worker at their location who described herself as "Big Red". That explained a lot.
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    Font - So for the next several weeks, even after they'd put in the correct ad, I'd get five or six calls a week from discerning gentlemen seeking the services of the "massage parlour". They even left messages on my answering machine. And, now that I knew what was happening, I would either direct the caller to the correct number or for the ones on the answering machine, I'd ring them and pass on the info.
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    Font - (I really should have asked them for a $50 Finders Fee, I swear! Alas, by the time I thought of it, they'd been closed). Then, one night, the phone rang about 11pm. "Hi, is that Big Red? I was hoping to book you or one of your ladies for a special session, all the extras."
  • 12
    Font - Me, feeling rather sleepy and also tiring of the joke: "I'm sorry. This is a private residence. You need to dial XXXX 7580." "Oh, sorry." Ten minutes later, the phone rings again.
  • 13
    Font - Same guy as before. "Hi there." "I told you, this is a private residence." "I know, but the other place is booked out. Are you free?" He got a short epithet, a fast telling off, and never rang back again!
  • 14
    Font - I don't work here, but I guess actually I can help you with your car problem! L So I was at Ross the other day looking for candles. I was crouched down sniffing away trying to find the perfect one with my earbuds in, very much in my own world. A couple come up behind me and I hear them say "Hey do you have jumper cables?" to which I totally ignore because I assumed there was a real staff member nearby.
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    Font - She persists and more forcefully lets out an "EXCUSE ME! Do you sell jumper cables?!" and I realize she's addressing me. Lord knows why. I'm wearing jeans and a hoodie with my hood up. I look up at her and she asks, "Do you work here....?" and I tell her I do not. She apologizes for the mistake and I go back to candle hunting.
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    Font - It dawns on me that I had just been there 3 days ago looking for jumper cables myself, and they did not have them. I did however find them at a store in the same strip mall at a great price. I decided to take pity on her and get up to go follow them and give her my advice. From a distance I can hear them talking about how even if they found jumper cables, they couldn't jump their BMW X5 because the battery is in the trunk.
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    Font - What a coincidence! You'll never guess what car I needed jumper cables for! So I interrupt them and tell her "So no, I still do not work here. But I just did exactly what you guys are trying to do. Sorry for eavesdropping. You can get 16 foot jumper cables for $12 down at Coastal Farm and Ranch. Also, there are terminals in the engine compartment where you can jump start an X5 from the front if you need."
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    Font - They're kind of astonished, but pleased. Given that they didn't know about the jumper terminals in the front, they needed some help. As the newly minted Ross employee of the month, I told them that after we checkout, to meet me in the parking lot and I would show them exactly where these things are on my car. They were so elated for my assistance. Still, I don't work here lady.
  • 19
    Font - I don't work at this location lady L Okay this is only a half "I do not work here" story because I do work for the company, just not this location
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    Font - I work for thw fastfood chain with the big yellow M on the roof. And had to pick something up at on another location, so while I was waiting for the stuff a customer asked me something and since it was a question I could easily answer, and I was in my work clothes I helped the person out. And directly after it I heard a "excuse me" and when I turned around there was another lady so I asked if I could help her. Turned out her order missed a burger so I went up to the counter and asked one
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    Font - I don't wanna wait any longer" so I explained "sorry ma'am I do not work at this location, so I am not allowed to go into the kitchen, but this employee here will get your burger for you" but she didn't want to believe and called me lazy again. So she went to the actual manager (who just walked up with the stuff I had to pick up) and demanded to get me fired. The manager looked at me with a "whut" face and decided to play along. She handed me the box with stuff and said "stop being so laz

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